Before the Rapture

Before the rapture I was always cold.

You called me back as I was heading to my car and you were smoking outside and you said come back and have a drink with us and I said I might and you said what? And I said I might! And you said what? And I waved my hand at you like oh stop it and I ran to my car to get a present for Ally from the trunk and when I came back you were at your table with your friends and I thought yeah I will. I will come back.

Before the rapture I drove with my eyes closed and I smashed into things, maybe on purpose. Before the rapture I had bad dreams, cracked sleep. Before the rapture I was dry and my tears were dry.

I was walking to my car in the dark aloneness of the empty street and you called from behind me where you were smoking a cigarette and you said come back. I said I might and I did.

I lied and said it was because of the rapture.

Before the rapture I was walking with my eyes shut, falling into holes. Maybe by accident. Before the rapture I hid from spiders. I was afraid there was nothing left to want. Before the rapture I was really afraid.

We sat in my car in the night and you told me about Detroit and you meant it. You brought me into your house. I saw the tidy rows of everything and I didnʼt buy it. We got high off the glass table and sat together in a pool of silence. I licked your lips in the kitchen. You pulled my dress up and I led you to your bed. We slept mostly and I was warm beside your warm body.

The rapture never came.

After a while I started falling into holes again. I hid from spiders. You drove with your eyes closed and smashed into me. I cracked your sleep and dried your tears. We pulled each others’ dresses up and gave each other bad dreams. I forgot there was anything left to want. I wanted everything. I waited for you in the bar and you forgot to say come back. I came back anyway but you were gone.

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